You Be the Judge

Do you ever see another driver do something dangerous or flagrantly violate a traffic law and wish that you could teach him a lesson or bring her to justice? Well, here’s your chance. Think about the proper response to each of the following traffic safety situations.

1. Despite warning signs about a lane ending, plus flashing lights and traffic cones, some twit flies down the shoulder of the road and tries to merge at the front of the line. You decide he should:

1. Be stuffed in an orange and white barrel and rolled to his destination
2. Be prevented from re-entering the road for at least one hour
3. Be ignored, because it’s not worth getting angry about

2. When the celebutante in the next lane suddenly swerves toward you, you notice that she’s texting something on her cell phone. You decide she should:

1. Choose between having her thumbs removed or keeping her driver’s license
2. Lose her license, lose her cell phone, and lose her thumbs
3. Be avoided, because she’s going to cause a tragedy

3. A local VSIP (very self-important person) fails to yield to pedestrians in the crosswalk while making a right-hand turn, startling a little old lady and making her fall. You decide he should:

1. Be legally barred from making right-hand turns for five years
2. Work as a crossing guard at that intersection for one year…one cold, rainy year
3. Be reported to the police for unsafe driving

4. Just as you’re about to pull into the parking spot at the mall you’ve been patiently signaling to enter, some creep whips in, ignoring you. You decide she should:

1. Get a few choice words and a punch in the nose
2. Lose her parking privileges at all malls for one year
3. Be ignored, because it’s not worth a fight

5. Although you’re going the speed limit and in the right-hand lane, a NASCAR-wannabe driver starts tailgating you while honking and flashing his lights. You decide he should:

1. Be forced to drive 100 laps at 55 mph in the middle of a Sprint Cup race at Talladega
2. Have his horn removed, his hi-beams cut, and his car altered to prevent him from exceeding 55 mph
3. Be let through, because you just don’t know what his problem is—and you don’t want to find out

As tempting as it might have been to answer otherwise, safe drivers know that “c” is the only acceptable answer to all these questions. It’s never worth engaging or “punishing” another driver, even if he or she makes an egregious violation. Your best bet is to ignore them, and get them out of your life. But if you see something particularly dangerous, get to a safe location and call the police.

For more tips on safely handling road situations, visit AAAFoundation.org.

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